In Your Absence
by ladyhikikomori
Summary: Inuyasha has finally made his decision about which miko he will choose but his half-brother has planted doubts about his choice and so he searches for the answer that will ultimately decide his fate. Someone has finally untangled their red string of fate to discover their true destiny! A sample story of what can happen when you're not around - Full story will be on Dokuga.
1. Chapter 1 - Decisions & Doubts

Sesshomaru sat on the outskirt of the village by the stream watching Rin as she played with Shippo and the other village kids, from the corner of his eye he saw Inuyasha approach Kagome who had been on her way to the stream with a basket of laundry to wash.

"Kagome, do you think we could...talk?"

Kagome turned around to face him and nodded her head never once releasing her basket.

"I meant alone." He said, flicking his eyes towards Sesshomaru.

Kagome let out a sigh and said, "Look Inuyasha, your brother isn't even paying attention to us and I'm not going to abandon my chores just to go traipsing all the way to the Goshinboku tree just so we can talk. Whatever you have to say, just say it."

Inuyasha ears flattened to his head when he heard the exasperated tone she had but swallowed down his nerves knowing that he had started something he was obliged to finish. "I-I just wanted to let you know now that Naraku is dead and Kikyo is alive I've decided to..." Inuyasha trailed off afraid to finish the sentence he knew would decide his fate, before he could try to tell her she broke in, "Mate Kikyo, I know."

Inuyasha's mouth dropped open for he had not expected Kagome to respond in such an apathetic tone, he had expected her to cry and run off but not this.

"Oh come on Inuyasha, I would have to be pretty stupid to not notice where you go off to every night." She said.

"Or what kind of activities you two participate in as well." Sesshomaru, who had been listening in on the conversation helpfully provided.

Kagome nodded and said, "That too, anyways, I really need to finish this basket so if you don't mind." And with that she turned around and resumed her stroll to the stream, dismissing Inuyasha entirely.

Inuyasha stood there rooted to the spot, mouth still agape before his anger took over. He turned to Sesshomaru and spit out, "Why don't you mind your own fucking business?"

Sesshomaru stood up and let out a chuckle while he turned to fully face his half-brother. "Let me give you some advice half-breed, no matter how much seed you try and plant inside dead graveyard soil nothing will grow." With these parting words he strode off to see a certain miko.

Inuyasha fumed, he had demolished numerous trees until they were just splinters in Inuyasha's Forest. His discussion with Kagome had not gone as planned, he hated to admit it to himself but a small part of him had hope that Kagome would do what she always did – get upset about the situation but ultimately return to him to stick by his side. It wasn't unheard of for a mated male to have a mistress. He felt dirty for thinking that Kagome would be willing to play second to another, or that he would even put her in such a position, but he also knew he wanted to have his cake and eat it too. His half-brother's words had only served to piss him off even further and cause a spark of doubt to be born inside him. Was he making a mistake, could Kikyo not have children? If that was the case he would have forgone making her his mate and have chosen Kagome instead. No, he knew without a doubt there was no way Kikyo would agree to be the mistress. He would pick Kagome to be his mate and be faithful to her if he knew Kikyo was unable to conceive. Kikyo was alive, but he knew she had help from a dark miko and he knew that the dark miko had said not to expect her life to be what it had been previously. Inuyasha had decided, he would seek out the dark miko who had helped Kikyo and if it turned out she wasn't able to conceive than he would tell Kagome that he had made a mistake out of guilt and obligation but that it was she that he truly loved.

Sesshomaru approached Kagome from behind as she was bent over; he stopped a moment to admire the view but was broke out of his appraisal by her voice, "Did you come to check up on me, Lord Sesshomaru?"

He scoffed at her question, "No, This Sesshomaru did not come to check upon a weakness that does not exist, you are stronger than that miko."

This caused Kagome to stop what she was doing and turn towards him with a blush on her face. "Thank you Lord Sesshomaru, you flatter me with your words." She turned back to give the sheet one last rinse before she returned it to the basket, she lifted it and went to walk back to the village but the taiyoukai removed it from her hands and fell in step with her leisurely pace.

"How do you think the taijiya and houshi will react?" His baritone voice broke the silence.

Kagome rolled her eyes and replied, "Probably how they always do, they'll send me covert glances and think that despite my insistence that I'm perfectly fine that I'm actually dying on the inside." She loved her friends and knew that they were just looking out for her; she just wished for once they would believe her when she told them that she wasn't bothered by Inuyasha's behaviour.

Sesshomaru scoffed once again and said, "Foolish humans." Kagome could only smile in response.

* * *

**Author's Notes: This is story will only contain a few sample chapters, given the content of this story I am not able to publish it on FF as per their rules and instead will be publishing it on Dokuga. You can find me on Dokuga under the same username. I apologize for the inconvenience but I hope if you like the story you will check it out on Dokuga. Thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2 - Anger & Alpha

Back in the village after Kagome had hung the wet sheets and subsequently took them off the line to be folded she and Sesshomaru saw the taijiya and houshi approach, returning from the neighbouring village to get rid of some minor demon.

"Hey guys!" Sango shouted while she jogged with Miroku towards the pair. Kagome smiled at the couple and returned their greeting while Sesshomaru just inclined his head slightly to acknowledge their presence.

"How did it go?" Kagome asked.

"Not too bad, it was a pretty low level youkai so we were done fairly quickly. Where is Inuyasha?" Miroku said while looking around to spot the hot-headed hanyou.

With a lift of one shoulder she said, "Probably with Kikyo I would presume, they'll both return at supper time I'm sure."

Sango and Miroku shared a look between each other before analyzing Kagome to see how she was taking the hanyou's absence.

Kagome turned to Sesshomaru and said, "I told you." He just looked at the pair and smirked.

After Sango and Miroku had settled down and the children had returned from their play Sesshomaru said, "Miko, this Sesshomaru is going hunting, I entrust Rin's care to you while I am gone."

Kagome knew this was Sesshomaru's polite way of requesting that she watch out for Rin while he was gone without commanding her to do so. She bowed to him and replied, "Of course Lord Sesshomaru."

With that he was off to procure the night's meal. It was half an hour later when Inuyasha walked into camp with a boar slung along his shoulders and Kikyo by his side.

"What's she doing here?" Sango said while glaring at Kikyo.

Inuyasha stood in front of Kikyo to protect her should Sango decide to take out her wrath upon her. "Relax Sango; she's here because there's something we need to tell everyone."

Sango's brows knitted in confusion but she relaxed when Miroku touched her shoulder and said that they should offer them the chance to explain whatever it was they needed to discuss. It was then that Sesshomaru strode through the forest clearing carrying a large buck and a handful of rabbits. He deposited them in front of Kagome interested to see how she would react to his catch.

She circled around the carcasses, assessing his kills, after her inspection she said, "You have provided for the pack exceptionally well, although this comes as no surprise to me considering you excel in all things. I am pleased with your kills my Lord, you have my gratitude."

Lord Sesshomaru puffed up with pride; pleased that not only had the alpha female assessed his kills when presented them like a proper bitch would but she found them suitable, he was also oddly satisfied that she had possessively called him _her _lord, like she was making a claim on him. He bent down to gather his kills so he could take them down to the river where he would gut them and Kagome would clean them when he noticed the boar Inuyasha had caught and more importantly the look of annoyance he had that his catch was not as impressive as Sesshomaru's nor was it praised by Kagome.

Everyone was gathered around waiting for the food to finish cooking; Sesshomaru was leaning against the wall of the elderly miko's hut watching with half-lidded eyes as Kagome rotated the rabbits on the spit so they cooked evenly when he flicked his attention to his brother to see that Inuyasha had been staring at Kagome as well. Sesshomaru knew Inuyasha was watching to see who Kagome would serve first and he admitted to himself he was curious as well. It was Sesshomaru's right as alpha male to be served first but he was testing her to see if she recognized his right on her own, if she acknowledged him as her alpha male despite the obviousness of the fact.

His attention was drawn away when Kagome approached him with a rather large portion of food and handed him the bowl before saying, "My lord."

He accepted the bowl while being sure to brush his fingertips along hers, her face erupted with a blush and she quickly turned away to continue serving out the portions. Once again Sesshomaru had to commend Kagome for acting as a proper bitch should, not only did she serve him first but she had given him the largest portion. It did not go unnoticed by Sesshomaru that Inuyasha was silently furious by Kagome's actions; he couldn't help but smirk at his half-brother which only caused to infuriate the hanyou more.

After Kagome had succeeded in putting both Rin and Shippo to bed in her sleeping bag she turned to the group and said, "I think it's time that Inuyasha and Kikyo share their wonderful news, don't you Lord Sesshomaru?"

Sesshomaru stood next to Kagome while facing the couple and replied, "Why yes Miko, I believe they should."

Sango and Miroku cast wary looks at one another, taken aback by the heavy sarcasm that laced both Kagome's and Sesshomaru's tone, it was obvious that they knew something they did not.

Inuyasha took a deep breath while Kikyo grabbed his hand, when both Miroku and Sango's attention was drawn to the action he had the overwhelming urge to shake it off. "I already talked to Kagome about this and the bastard over there already stuck his nose into it but I just wanted you guys to know that I'm going to mate Kikyo."

The two just stared at him in shock; Sango was the first to break out of it and yelled, "You've got to be kidding me!" She was quickly hushed by Sesshomaru and Kagome when they saw the kit and Rin stir.

"I know you guys aren't happy with my decision but Kikyo was my first love."

Sesshomaru raised his eyebrow at that statement, curious as to why the hanyou had used the past tense instead of present tense when he noticed Inuyasha trying to communicate something to Kagome with his eyes. Unfortunately for Inuyasha Kagome was busy yawning, her lack of disinterest was clearly abundant. Miroku and Sango stole a peek at Kagome to see how this news was affecting her but when they saw no response from her they returned their attention back to Inuyasha.

"If this is what you want to do Inuyasha then fine, but I hope you realize you're making a big mistake!" Sango stormed out of the hut after her outburst, Miroku cast one last disappointed look at Inuyasha before shaking his head at the hanyou and exiting the hut to find and console Sango.

"I didn't mean to upset them." Inuyasha said in a small voice.

Kagome scoffed, "You betrayed them Inuyasha, what do you expect?"

Kikyo frowned at Kagome and went to go approach her reincarnation to give her a piece of her mind when she felt Inuyasha tug her back into place and shook his head at her.

"I didn't get a chance to tell any of you this but I'm leaving tomorrow morning, I don't know when I'll be back."

Kikyo whipped around to face Inuyasha and with hard voice that was heavy with confusion asked, "What? Why? Where are you going?"

Inuyasha frowned at the interrogation he was getting from her and said, "There's something I got to do before we become mates."

As he looked at Kagome to see her reaction it was obvious that Kikyo was the only one upset at Inuyasha's declaration of leaving.

"That's fine; I guess I will just have to come with you then." Kikyo said but Inuyasha instantly shot down that idea by telling her he had to go alone.

"I don't care who is going to where just shut up." Sesshomaru growled out not wanting to be a witness to the couple's first marital spat nor have the children who Kagome had just put down to sleep be awoken to see it either.


	3. Chapter 3 - Escape & Epiphany

It was dawn when Inuyasha was preparing to leave when he heard footsteps coming from the hut and turned to say goodbye to Kagome as she came to see him off and wish him safe travels but all he saw was Kikyo and he had to admit that deep down he was disappointed that Kagome had remained inside. Kikyo wrapped her arms around him and kissed him softly but it left Inuyasha cold, despite her revival to the land of the living she bore no body heat, her flesh was exactly like when she was comprised of nothing more than graveyard soil and clay, each embrace reminded him of that fact. Back in the hut Sesshomaru was experiencing the complete opposite sensation, he had awoken when his half-brother had gotten up to get ready to go off on his travels and in his lap, wrapped in his mokomoko, was the miko. Earlier Inuyasha had opened his mouth to tell him to get his filthy hands off of her but was silenced when Sesshomaru gave a pointed look at Kikyo and then back towards Inuyasha. Inuyasha knew that his brother was ensuring Kagome was kept comfortable and warm since she had given up her sleeping bag to the kids but it pissed him off to see her wrapped in Sesshomaru's embrace with a content look on her face even in slumber. He felt like a hypocrite for attempting to say anything when he knew that he had slept beside Kikyo – and done so much more with her - but damn it, he couldn't stand to see _his _Kagome in that bastard's arms or have the scent of his half-brother cling to her for the rest of the day. Sesshomaru looked down at the miko as he felt her nuzzle in-between his neck and shoulder and with no one awake to see him he gave her a small smile and nuzzled the top of her head in return, glad that he could be with her without Inuyasha attempting to make her feel inferior or hurt. He relaxed back into a state of sleep as he let her calming, delicious smelling scent waft around him.

It had been nearly a week since Inuyasha had left the village and between Kikyo's superiority complex and her friend's surreptitious glances towards her as if they were waiting for her to break down and start bawling her head off Kagome had had enough and her patience was at its end.

It was then that Sesshomaru knew he had to step in. "Miko, why don't we go to one of my caves for awhile?"

Kagome bit her lip and pondered the suggestion, "What about the kids and Sango and Miroku? We can't leave them and I would feel bad if I left Miroku and Sango to deal with Kikyo on their own."

Sesshomaru cast a glance at the obstacles standing between him and his alone time with the miko and said, "The cave I have in mind is close to my castle, Jaken and Ah-Un and not to mention all my guards will be there to protect them should anything happen. If it does Jaken and Ah-Un will lead them straight to us while the guards hold them off. As for your friends, I'm sure they would appreciate going to that village the taijiya is always talking about rebuilding."

Kagome's eyes light up and she finally consented to it stating it was a wonderful idea. Once it was decided and everyone had agreed to the plan Sesshomaru carried Kagome on his cloud while the kids and Jaken rode on Ah-Un to the castle where everyone was given strict instructions by Sesshomaru on what he expected while he was gone and with an affectionate goodbye from Kagome and a dignified parting by Sesshomaru to the kids he orbed them off to his special cave.

After passing through the barrier that ensured nobody but Sesshomaru and those he wanted to be able to pass were allowed he set her down on a futon of silks and furs that were so incredibly soft and comfortable that Kagome swore to never sleep in her sleeping bag again. Sesshomaru smirked at the sight the girl made laid out in his bed. Her inky hair fanned out around her, her cheeks were flushed from the excitement of being transported to the cave so quickly, while she gazed up at him with her unbelievably blue eyes from underneath her incredibly long lashes. His gazed slipped down to her plump, moist lips and further to take in her silhouette. She had an hour glass figure with a prominent bosom, a luscious back-side, and wide child-bearing hips perfect for his pups. Sesshomaru reared back at that thought. He knew he had finally gotten over his hate of humans enough to admit he admired her, for her beauty, strength and soul, hell he could even admit that he desired her – but he had never allowed himself to think of her beyond that secret admiration that was limited to their friendship. He never made his desire known for he felt if he could not offer her everything she deserved than he would take nothing less from her. He would not make her into some common whore like his father had done to Izayoi. It wasn't that he didn't want to offer her everything, to be her mate, to have her swollen with his pups it was just that he had never allowed himself to go beyond what they were. That's when it struck him looking down at her in his bed that he did want to have her be his everything and to give her everything that he was in return. To think of her as she was right now but in another man's bed made him both disgusted and enraged, he knew there would never be another for him if another man claimed her. Sesshomaru sat on the part of the bed that was not occupied by her and put his head in hands while trying to sort through all the emotions his sudden revelation was bringing out in him.

Kagome had noticed him looking down at her with a look of wild desperation that was so unlike him that it caused her to reach out and run her hand down his back and ask him, "Sesshomaru, what's wrong? Are you okay?" At the sound of her melodic voice and the touch of her upon his person he turned towards her and in a blink of the eye was on top of her, careful not to crush her with his weight.

"Sesshomaru?" Her voice was breathy and he couldn't stop himself from slowly leaning towards her, giving her the chance to back out while he still held some semblance of control over himself; when he saw recognition flash in her eyes followed shortly by her shutting them in preparation for his kiss he could no longer hold back and met her lips in a fierce kiss. Her arms went around his neck to pull him in deeper and he licked her bottom lip seeking permission for entrance which she eagerly granted. He slanted his mouth to deepen the kiss and she fisted her hand in his hair, when the scent of her arousal reached his nostrils he let out a throaty moan and subconsciously ground against her which caused her to break away from the kiss and arch her back pressing her mound harder against his thrusts. Sesshomaru had resumed his ministrations by kissing, licking, and nipping her throat while paying particular attention to which areas got the most vocal response from her.

"Sesshomaru please!" she breathlessly begged of him to fill the ache in her lower abdomen.

Sesshomaru pulled up away from her so he could look her directly in her eyes but their lower halves were still connected while rhythmically moving against each other. "I will not take you just once or for just one night Kagome, I want you as my mate – that means forever, for all of eternity. A youkai only has one mate; there is no demon equivalent of divorce like humans have. It's either all or nothing. I have seen your beauty and your strength. I have seen you at your best and worst; throughout it all I have come to realize you are my ideal mate. It started the moment you shielded Rin with your body from an attack and it has only grown as I have gotten to know you. I love you."

Tears pricked at Kagome's eyes, threatening to spill over at the heartfelt proclamation she had just been bestowed. "This is what I want Sesshomaru, you are who I want – the only one I want."

Sesshomaru stopped his motions and looked her hard in the eyes trying to ensure that her response was permanent and not brought about by lust. "Are you sure Kagome? There is no going back."

Kagome sniffled and wiped the few tears that had managed to escape from her face and nodded before she was able to say, "The first night you came to me when our group had unofficially joined together to comfort me when Inuyasha left to go see Kikyo, I knew then. I knew a love for you had started to grow inside of me. It wasn't anything like what I thought I felt for Inuyasha because this time it was real. That night anything I had thought I felt for Inuyasha was left dead in that clearing you found me in. When you, Lord Sesshomaru 'the most feared taiyoukai in all of Japan', consoled me I just knew that you were the one. I just never thought it could be and so I kept it buried, afraid to go through what I did with Inuyasha because I knew I couldn't survive it if the rejection was to come from you. The love I felt kept growing as we strengthened our bond and it was cemented when you nearly sacrificed yourself to save me from Naraku's attack when Inuyasha abandoned me and left me open while he went to check on a minor wound Kikyo had received."

Sesshomaru remembered that day well, he was so livid at Inuyasha after the fight that he had taken Kagome while everyone else embraced their respective partners and he transported them someplace far away from the battlefield and just held her while taking deep breaths of her scent to assure himself she was alright. He knew if he had seen his brother at that moment he would had ripped him to shreds without any hesitation. He was also reminded of her clinging to him and sobbing repeating like a mantra "Thank kami you're alright, I couldn't bear the thought of losing you." At the time he was so out of his mind with anger at the hanyou and relief at the miko's safety he hadn't really registered it, thinking at the time that she was just relieved his sacrifice hadn't cost him his life for she couldn't deal with the guilt it would have undoubtedly caused someone as sweet and sensitive as her, but in this exact moment he knew that what she was saying was true. She wanted to be his mate just as badly as he wanted to have her be his that there was no more reason for hesitation.

* * *

**Author's Note: So I know Sesshomaru seems really OOC here but I think for him to love a human at all, except for maybe Rin, would be too OOC for him anyways and since I like this pairing I'm just going to use my artistic freedom license and run with it haha! I hope you can accept that Sesshomaru's feelings have developed from a respect he found Kagome worthy of having that is hinted in their backstory! Writing scenes where Sesshomaru confesses his love is always hard so please feel free to PM me if you think there is a way I can improve or expand on this chapter to make it more realistic, thank you! Also, the next chapter will be a short filler chapter but the one after that contains a lemon! The lemon can be viewed on Dokuga under the same username, if you don't use Dokuga and would like me to continue the story here let me know and I'll see about making something work!**


	4. Chapter 4 - Beauty & Blessings

Inuyasha had been travelling for a week and his fortunes did not bode well. While he was no longer delayed by senseless fights with demons containing jewel shards as he had been in the past he was also without company, particularly that of his friends. He missed their times together and he realized that with Kikyo in the picture he was bound to see them less than what he would like. Sure, the lecherous houshi would still stop by to see him from time to time but he could be assured that Sango's loyalty to Kagome and anger at him would keep her far away. That left Kagome. Inuyasha knew without a doubt his visits with her would be few and far between and even then they would be strictly supervised by Kikyo. Inuyasha loved Kikyo but the way she clung to him whenever Kagome was around was a trigger for his short temper. The worst part was that Inuyasha couldn't fault her for it; she had a reason to be concerned. Inuyasha had taken notice of how the young woman had filled out; she had gone from a cute girl to a fully-developed, gorgeous woman. Inuyasha had always claimed that Kikyo was the more attractive of the two and maybe when Kagome was still in her teens she had been but now he was forced to concede the fact that compared to Kikyo's waif like figure, small assests, and cold eyes Kagome was by far superior in looks. Once again he was questioning what had made him choose Kagome over Kikyo as a mate.

Meanwhile, a trickster kitsune kami was blessing a union that was being made in a cave where only pants and moans could be heard coming from.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Since the next chapter would be a lemon and that goes against FF's policies I have used the last line to hint at the mating that is occurring in the cave without going into graphic detail. The full chapter will be available on Dokuga. To clear up any confusion for reviewers: this was intended to be a sample story, as in a few chapters would be posted here and then the full story would continue on Dokuga, but since I was requested to keep writing it here I have decided to continue it to the best of my abilities. The stories are ****meant**** to be the exact same. I apologize that the story had to be edited but I hope everyone understands and enjoys this chapter regardless! **

**Also, for the reviewers who feel like this is character bashing, I understand why you may feel that way and if you choose to discontinue reading I will understand, no hard feelings; Inuyasha's indecisiveness is just one aspect from the anime/manga that I'm using as a plot device in this story, and I think it's such a commonly used theme in SesshomaruXKagome pairings because it is true to his nature. It's not my intentions to portray him purely negatively and I hope that if you do continue to read that you'll come to like the growth Inuyasha will go through, even if he has some tough times to go through before he gets there. If we must part ways I hope you can find a story that is more suited to your tastes and I would be more than happy to share some of my favorite Kagome/Sesshomaru pairings by other authors that focus more on positive feelings than angst. Thank you for reading up to this point regardless of how you feel about it!**


End file.
